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7 Honest Lessons On Love & Lust In The Digital Age From Esther Perel, Dan Savage, And Marisa Peer

dan savage marisa peep esther perel

Do we have to feel weird or uncomfortable when we talk about love and sex?

They’re two of the most fundamental and shared human desires… And yet we don’t even talk to our partners about what we want from relationships.

Somehow, the act that creates us has turned into this embarrassing taboo. Love has been so strictly defined that we fear to say what we really need (and can’t get) from our relationships.

Have you ever held back your opinions about sex, love, or relationships just because you’re afraid of others judging you? I know I’ve avoided the topic because I was afraid to hear that I was “doing love wrong.” But love is changing in the Digital Age, and some of our old judgments may no longer apply.

In this Q&A on love and lust from A-Fest Ibiza by Mindvalley, Founder Vishen Lakhiani and three of the world’s most unique and celebrated voices on modern relationships answer the questions you’ve always wanted to ask. Who are these three experts?

Esther Perel is a Psychotherapist, a New York Times bestselling author, and the speaker of two Ted Talks on modern love that have gone viral with over 20 million views. Dan Savage is an activist for the LGBTQ+ community and the author of the internationally syndicated column, Savage Love, known for his frank advice on sex and relationships. Before Marisa Peer was named Britain’s best therapist by Tatler magazine and became the Mindvalley Author of Uncompromised Life, she wrote for a sex advice column for 14 years.

Their unique voices, backgrounds, and perspectives create one of the frankest, funniest, and most insightful discussions I’ve ever seen — on any subject.



Here are the 9 lessons I learned from this panel:

1. Honest Discussions About Sex Are Necessary

The topics that are taboo are usually the ones we need to discuss the most. Growing up, we received a lot of negative messages about sex and were often actively discouraged from exploring how we felt about it. Many of us inherited our views about appropriate relationships from our parents or our culture — and in most cases, that meant monogamous, long-term, and with a partner from a similar background.

It’s no wonder that talking honestly about what we want from our relationship seems like a daunting task.

But imagine going to a restaurant where you couldn’t select what you want to eat. Your parents chose for you. And then imagine that you’d have to eat that same meal for the rest of your life. Wouldn’t you want to have a say?